By “moral neutrality,” I am referring to the counselor’s neutrality when it comes to marriage and divorce. Because they do not hold the sanctity and permanence of marriage as a core belief, they do not see it as their responsibility to hold their clients to that belief. Instead, they declare, “I will respect the couple’s belief about the sacredness of marriage. However, if the couple talks in terms of divorce and has what I would consider to be irreconcilable differences of opinion, why beat a dead horse?”Read More
Did you miss part 1 of this post? Check it out HERE. I once met with one hundred professionals in Pennsylvania and asked the question: “If I could show you how to get men to line up outside your counseling doors, would you be interested?”
I could feel the electricity in the room. These professionals sat forward in their chairs awaiting my answer that could assist them. They recognized the challenge of counseling men.Read More
Pam and Bob, a fictitious couple but very representative of the many couples I have heard from, turned to a counselor for help in their marriage, but after five unproductive sessions the therapist recommended divorce. In shock Pam said on behalf of both of them: The reason we went to the counselor was to help our marriage. Just because we got really mad at each other during the sessions and totally blamed the other and totally justified ourselves didn’t mean we wanted to end the marriage. That’s why we went for counsel! And, yes, I played the victim and sought sympathy more than Bob, who didn’t go to the third session because he was so ticked at me and the counselor, but we didn’t expect the counselor to throw in the towel for us.Read More
This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss some of the difficulties in finding a good Christian marriage counselor. They discuss how some counselors have a difficult time working with couples because of an individualistic approach, how some counselors have a negative male bias, and how some counselors maintain moral neutrality, plus practical recommendations for dealing with these issues. Whether for you or someone you know, this episode will be helpful for those in or considering marital counseling.Read More
As I was growing up my mother used to say laughingly, “Relatives and friends come to our home as ‘The Last Resort!’” We had a swimming pool on the side of a hill overlooking a deep valley. A beautiful setting in which to swim, but not exactly a resort - only the last resort!
Mom’s humorous meaning differed from others who used to come to my office for marital counseling. As they entered they would say, “Pastor, we have serious marriage problems. You are our last resort.”Read More
June is wedding month. According to a study done by Pew Research, The Wedding Report and the US Census Bureau, the average wedding now costs $27,000. Most of us enjoy attending a beautiful marriage celebration, but have you ever wondered if that young couple who look so happy walking down the aisle intend to invest as much in their marriage as they did in their beautiful wedding?Read More