In my book Before You Hit Send, I quote a woman who said, "You know that little thing in the back of your brain that tells you not to say something before you say it? Well, I don't have that little thing." I suppose all of us wonder occasionally if we lack that little thing in the back of our brains. We know that we are to think before we speak, but we end up saying something that we should not say.Read More
John Gottman, the foremost quantitative researcher on marriage, wrote, "In the research literature on marital interaction that has used observational methods, women's marital interaction . . . has been consistently described as more confronting, demanding, coercive, and highly emotional . . . than the interaction of their husbands." Why is this? Why does she resort to this covert form of power?Read More
In part 1 we discussed the dynamics found in conflicts involving a male manager with both male and female employees. The love and respect principles are equally as important to consider in work situations that involve a female manager.
What about the female manager toward the female employee? The female manager can be a caring woman who appears unloving to a female employee.Read More
I believe men and women need love and respect as human beings in the workplace. Though there are daily demands to fulfill the mission of the organization apart from these emotional attitudes toward each other, I do not believe that a company will perform well when the men and women get on what I call the Crazy Cycle. Without love (“caring” would be a better term for the workplace) a woman reacts without respect, and without respect a man reacts without love (without caring). But added to this craziness is the tension between managers and employees. When employees feel unloved (uncared for) they react in ways that feel disrespectful to managers, and when managers feel disrespected they react in ways that feel unloving (uncaring) to employees.Read More
In part 1 we discussed many of the different gender traits in men and women, proven by science and recognized by most, including Hollywood. These differences are the core reasons why men and women approach problems differently, in the way they tend and mend others. But is it possible that these differences can actually complement each other, rather than conflict with each other, when it comes to men and women approaching problems together?Read More
A woman tends and mends people with problems. A man tends and mends problems that people have. Both tend and mend. But they start in different places. Allow me to explain.
Over the years research has repeatedly found masculine and feminine traits that differ.
Generally speaking, women evidence these traits: gentleness, modesty, humility, sacrifice, supportiveness, empathy, compassion, tenderness, cooperative, connectivity, nurturance, intuitiveness, sensitivity, expressiveness, responsiveness, sentimentality, verbal, and unselfishness. I believe most women agree with these qualities about themselves and view these as evidence that they are caring human beings and wish to be loved because of these qualities.Read More
When we miscommunicate, most people readily forgive when we ask them to forgive us. After all, they themselves have misspoken and have little interest in throwing stones. This is especially so when they see us making an honest mistake. What drives people nuts is when they feel that we spoke or wrote something that was designed to hurt or offend them, and we have no intentions of owning up to it, apologizing, and correcting our error. Join Emerson and Jonathan this as they discuss this topic and some examples of what to do if we hurt someone long ago. Also check out a recent publicized example of an apology HERE.Read More
Men and women need love and respect as human beings in the workplace. Though there are daily demands to fulfill the mission of the organization apart from these emotional attitudes toward each other, that company will perform well when the men and women get on what I call the Crazy Cycle. Without love (care) a woman reacts without respect and without respect a man reacts without love (care). But added to this craziness is the tension between managers and employees. When employees feel unloved (uncared for) they react in ways that feel disrespectful to managers and when managers feel disrespected they react in ways that feel unloving (uncaring) to employees. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this new topic.Read More
There are two elements that are foundational to the long-term success of an organization. As odd as this may sound, they are love and respect. Said negatively and drastically, if there is hostility and contempt, the organization cannot continue to succeed if it has succeeded, at least not significantly. Put it this way, good people leave and customers sense something is wrong. Join Emerson and Jonathan as they discuss this topic of business, which does apply to other environments such as teacher and student, coach and player, etc.Read More
In part 2 of this two part series, Emerson and Jonathan continue to discuss the topic of lying. This stems from Emerson's recent writing for a new book coming out in 2017. Throughout the 9 episodes or examples of untrue communication consider which ones you have observed and how often you think such things happen, whether with you or others. Part 2 also includes a story that continues to impact Emerson. [See Part 1 Here]Read More
In this two part series, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of lying. This stems from Emerson's recent writing for a new book coming out in 2017. Throughout the 9 episodes or examples of untrue communication consider which ones you have observed and how often you think such things happen, whether with you or others.Read More
Join Emerson, Jonathan, and their first guest, Joy Eggerichs Reed, on this week's episode as they discuss what it’s like and what we can do when we are overlooked, when we go unpicked, or our efforts go unrecognized.
Read the transcript HERE.Read More
Oftentimes, when people hear me teach this idea that “My response is my responsibility,” they have a light bulb moment. This truth that “My response is my responsibility” has revolutionized their lives.
Let’s consider what several have said:
This Quote Changed a Businesswoman’s Life
A businesswoman told her employer that her favorite quote was:Read More
Q: You talk about the husband’s need to provide for his family and that showing appreciation for this desire is one way a wife can show respect. But my husband has not worked for several years, which has put me in the position of primary provider. I have a good job so he seems content to be the parent who stays home with the kids. I am finding myself becoming resentful because he isn’t even trying to find a job anymore. How can I respect him in this situation Dr. E says…Read More
Q: My husband is a workaholic.Work comes before me and the kids, and our family is suffering. How do I respect him in this area? Dr. E says: First, I cannot guarantee that what I have to say will automatically get a husband to quit working so many hours and be at home a lot more. However, in counseling many couples in this situation, I have made four observations that usually help a wife deal with the situation in a more positive way. 1. “We need your influence.”Read More
Question: My husband is a workaholic. Work comes before me and the kids. Your first point in CHAIRS is to admire and respect his desire to work. If I compliment him on his work, won't I just be encouraging him to work more. Answer: First, I cautionRead More