Learning From The Heart Cry of Others
Daily, Sarah and I receive e-mails from people across the nation and around the world that profoundly touch us, and I mean profoundly to the point that we sometimes weep. We're overwhelmed with the tender hearts, teachable spirits, and inner longings of the people who write us. The below e-mail brought tears to our eyes not only because of this woman's personal situation but because she represents so many people right now who if they heard the love and respect message might be able to turn the corner on a marriage that appears destined for collapse. This woman read my book CRACKING THE COMMUNICATION CODE (Now titled The Language of Love & Respect) and realized that possibly she could've done things differently. She did not hold herself 100% responsible for the collapse of the marriage but... well, read what she said:
Dear Mr. Eggerichs,
I wish I had read this book 15 years ago. I've been divorced now for almost 10 years and I've tried to put it behind me, wishing the marriage had never happened. During my six year marriage, I went through so much verbal abuse and unloving, even hateful behavior, and when my husband started an ongoing affair, it was almost a relief in a way (as well as extreme pain of his rejection) to know the marriage was over. Ever since then, I blamed him as the reason for a bad marriage and divorce. After reading your book, I realized for the first time how unforgiving and disrespectful I was to him during our marriage. We were definitely on that Crazy Cycle, and at that time I couldn't see how to get off. Today I wept as I read Chapter 7. I am mourning the death of my marriage, and for the first time, I'm actually wishing to go back and start over, instead of wishing it had never happened. Honestly, the principles from your book may not have saved our marriage, but I would have gladly applied them if I had known them. I had repented years ago of my part played in the divorce, but today I repented of disrespect and unforgiveness. It's not possible now for us to reunite as he is remarried with kids, but I hope and pray God will bless me with another chance to respect a husband and be forgiving. I'm ready to be the wife I always wanted to be but never was. Thanks for faithfully seeking God in how to help families and hearing Him reply "love and respect." And thanks also for then writing the book.
Are you as touched by what this wife says as Sarah and I are touched by what she says? We need to learn from this woman's tender heart, teachable spirit, and inner longing. If you are in a similar situation, please weigh carefully her words. You can learn from her wise words! You may have the power and influence to change the course of your marriage.